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11.15.2009

moving mania

Well, we moved! What a crazy week it's been, too.

Last Friday, we were off school due to parent-teacher conferences. The downside of PTC week is working til 7:30 at night. The upside is Friday off. Not exactly a fair trade, but we take what we get, right? Melody graciously offered to come over Friday and help me pack, since she could not help me move on Saturday. We got a ton done! In 4 hours we packed over 2/3 of the apartment. I owe her big time! (She also brought me an egg souffle and gingerbread latte from Panera for breakfast, just cause she's awesome like that.)

Friday night, Bryan came into town to assist with the moving on Saturday. He brought his dog, which was an adventure in itself with our cats. I am sure Lucy just wanted to play, but our cats were frantic. They were positive that Lucy wanted to eat them. The funniest part of having Lucy there was that Bryan tied her to his ankle to keep her away from the cats while him and Donald killed digital zombies, but until they heard slurping in the kitchen, neither of them realized that Lucy had chewed through her leash and escaped!

Saturday, I woke up 2 hours before the alarm, unable to sleep anymore. I had two sleeping people in the house, though, so I was pretty limited on what I could get done. When I finally woke them up and they got around, we brought Lucy to the new house, picked up the UHaul and I sent Donald and Bryan back to the apartment while I went to the bank.

Arriving at the apartment, I found many dear people putting my furniture and boxes into the big truck. I love my friends. There is no other way to put it. People who will help you move for nothing more than thanks and a taco are awesome in my book! Almost as soon as I arrived, the man who was to install our internet called and needed me at the new house. Now, it was only 10:30 am. I was told he'd come between 10 and 5. When, other than when it's inconvenient, would they ever come only a half hour into the 7 hour window?? Oh well, I left to go to the new house, meet the internet man and walk Lucy.

Lauren came to the new house and when everyone got here with the full UHaul and cars with crammed full back seats and trunks, we went out to help unload. We got everything unloaded, decided on Taco Bell for lunch and left. I went to pick up lunch. Donald and Bryan took the UHaul back, followed by Chris who took them to the apartment. Joel let everyone in the apartment where they continued to pack and pile things in cars. (Awkwardest moment of the day? Seeing Joel carry a drawer full of my panties to his car.)

We all ate on the floor of the apartment, then when the cars were full, we brought round two, including the cats, to the new house.

It was then that we found fleas. Lots of fleas. ARGH. We unloaded stuff, took the cats back to the apartment and flea bombed the apartment. We had to vacate while it was done, so we went to eat at Tasia. At this point, the cough and raspy voice I'd had all day became an all-out sickness. I was in major pain, could barely swallow and had little voice. By the time we got to the house, all I could do was sleep on the couch while Donald and Bryan went to get the pets at the apartment.

The next three days, I remained sick on the couch, unpacking a couple things here and there, but mostly just lying down, and eating only soup. I got up on Monday for a few hours. Donald and I went to Freedom Appliance and bought a used fridge, then cleaned some at the apartment. Donald vacuumed the bedrooms and I did some laundry, and cleaned the bathroom. We could not stay too long, since they were coming to deliver the fridge.

Tuesday, we flea bombed again. I took the cats to the apartment and cleaned while it was done. I cleaned the windows, vacuumed baseboards, washed walls and scrubbed out the fridge.

Wednesday, I tried going to school. I was tired by the end of the day and had barely any voice. But I had asked CU to shut off the utilities in the apartment on Friday morning, so I had to turn over the keys on Thursday. So I went to the apartment while Donald was at school and finished the cleaning. I cleaned the kitchen counters and floor, scrubbed the oven (3 times!) with easy off, and finished all the vacuuming. By the time I got home, I was sicker than ever. I was crying and vomiting and in tons of pain. I had majorly overdone it. I did not return to school the rest of the week.

Thursday, I layed on the couch yet again. Then we went for our walk through and to had in our keys. My cleaning efforts paid off, we are getting our entire security deposit back!! She said it was amazing how good of shape our apartment was in after we lived there 6 years.

Friday, I was off work, but used the time well. I changed our address at the post office and bank, as well as calling and changing it with the bank, my work, my retirement accounts, student loans, insurance, cell phones and my magazine subscriptions. I went back to Freedom Appliance and got us a used washer/dryer set. I grocery shopped, which was needed so desperately! Then, more laying on the couch. That afternoon, I unpacked the kitchen. That night, they delivered our washer and dryer! It's so nice not to have to deal with laundromats. Unfortunately, the dryer plug did not match the outlet, so it was still unusable. We ate with friends at my beloved Purple Burrito, then Donald went to watch 2012 and I went home to sleep.

Yesterday, Donald took his graduation exam at OTC and we did some more unpacking.

Today, we went to church and Lowes. We got a new dryer power cord that matched the outlet and I changed it all by myself! I was very proud of myself for this. When I was done, nothing blew up, no one got electrocuted and the clothes got dried, so I assume I did it right. But....the washer was leaking water from the supply hose. I went to walmart and got new hoses and fixed that, too! (I'm now ready to rent myself out as a handy woman.) I also got to watch my boys win at oakland. It was a very sloppy game, fumbles, sacks, interceptions. But beating the raiders will always make me happy.

Tomorrow, I have MAP-A training, so I will once again be gone from school. In 11 calendar days, I will have been at school 1. What craziness and insanity will await my return???

Last night, we had the lovely experience of having our neighbor children beat each other up in our yard, then knock on our doors and windows and run away. Also, flea bombing twice has not completely cured the problem, so the professionals will be coming out to do the job instead.

Other than those two things, it's going pretty well in our new home! There is still quite a bit of unpacking to do, but we are getting it done. It would be done already, had I not been sick.

10.11.2009

hoping this will be our house!

We looked around at some other houses today....and we've found a middle ground (I think, anyway). So long as our rental application goes through (she has to check our rental history with Wooten Co. tomorrow), the house will be ours November 1st.

It's a stone bungalow. Donald really likes the stone, I think it's not so attractive. But the inside matters more to me than the outside, since that's the part you look at most. It has 2 bedrooms, 1 full bath, 1 half bath, utility room, living room, dining room, kitchen, full cement-floored basement, detached garage and small yard. The rent is very affordable and there is no pet deposit, which is nice. She'll accept both cats willingly. The previous tenant said utilities run about $80 for all, which is cheaper than our current apartment!

The pros for me were: jetted tub; wood floors; walls that weren't white (we've had all white walls for SEVEN years!); an archway from the living room to dining room; closer to work (1.4 miles from AG H/Q, under 5 miles from my school); neighborhood looks good (houses are well-kept, previous tenant said the neighbors were all nice minus one family); landlady seems nice and non-crazy. Cons for me: no dishwasher (BIG con...); we have to get our own fridge, washer and dryer; creepy basement; garage is detached; kitchen and bathroom definitely on the small side.

The pros for Donald were: the basement (he can have it, I'm staying upstairs!); a hallway (for some reason he really wanted a hallway, the house I loved had no hallways which he hated); neighborhood looks good; fireplace. Cons for him: master bedroom directly off living room (he likes separation of living and sleeping quarters).

As you see, our wants and desires do not have a ton of overlap. That has been challenging. But we both agreed we could happily live in this home. So, hopefully there will be no trouble with the application and we can happily live there!

The only worry is that our current landlady is, as I've said before, crazy. No really. I promise. So, she could screw it up for us. But she has no real complaint against us. We've paid rent on time for almost 7 years, anything we've been asked to do we've done. She does not know about Dash, and he's the only thing she could possibly say we've done that we shouldn't.

Some of our Monday Night Dinner people will have farther to drive, but we will be much closer to a few of them. Hopefully they'll all still feel the drive is worth it! Also, with the wood floors, maybe Hanna will finally be able to be in my house sometimes!

So, fingers crossed!!

10.10.2009

what's the haps?

The haps around here have been eventful! Here's a quick peek:
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Almost three weeks ago, Donald was at Chris's house to play the new Halo and a stray kitten "found" him (his words, not mine). We now have a tiny cat. He is white with orange spots, goes by the name of Dash Maul. (The Maul was earned during his first flea bath.)

He's adorable, but he bites like an alligator. He also has unfortunately brought a virus into our home that made Jax very sick this week. A visit to the emergency vet thursday night for 2 prescriptions and a follow up with his regular vet today (resulting in a 3rd prescription) has already made Dash an expensive little thing. Next weekend we have to take Dash for some tests and vaccinations. He is not old enough to be neutered, but that'll happen this winter!
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RenFest was last weekend, um....well....

the faire was fun in and of itself. However, MAJOR drama happened with some of the attenders, the ramifications of which are still not over. I am unsure how lasting the effects will be truthfully, which is worrisome, but the duplicitousness of the continuing situation is cementing some unfortunate and sad things in my mind. (Sorry for the vagueness...)

Donald got to participate in the magic show as "Bob Rigatoni." My volunteering him may have had something to do with it...Tonya also participated, but she was chosen specifically by the magician himself. He got a little too touchy with her, too. Like, if we were the suing types, we could probably have a case.

We had two newcomers to the group this year, Rob and Lindsay. Unfortunately, Matt (Lindsay's boyfriend) opted to stay behind, in order to study. It turned out to be nice in a way, though, because I had a great, great car ride there and back alone with Lindsay. Long talks in cars are one of my most favorite things ever. I contend there is a depth to road trip bonding rarely found any other way.

Got to see baby Ameliah again, she is getting cuter. She has quite a ways to go to catch up to the charm of her big brother, though!

Mom and Grandma were wonderful hostesses, as always. Their generosity is truly appreciated.
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I saw Whip It this weekend and my crush on Ellen Page was reignited. She's just so stinkin' cute!
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Seems like a lot of the ladies I love have been having hurt hearts lately in some form or another...the trend needs to end!!
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We need to move by November 30th. We are hoping to find a place and sign a lease by November 1st, giving us plenty of time to move, clean, etc. It's imperitive that we move before the CRAZY landlady finds out we have Dash. He's against the lease. He's the first thing we've ever done against the lease. But I know she would evict us and that would screw over our rental history.

I've been looking at houses. It's complicated! We need a neighborhood safe enough to make Donald happy, rent that's affordable, the ability to bring both cats, and something we will both enjoy living in. I thought I finally found the perfect house. It was a cute little Victorian style house from the early 1900's. Wood floors, crown molding, 2 bed, 1 bath, fenced yard, renovated kitchen, whirlpool tub, newer heating and air, and getting painted this month. Donald HATED it. The whole thing. It was EXACTLY the house I was looking for and he informed me it is everything he wants to avoid. Yikes!! This makes things even harder. Hopefully we'll find a middle ground. We are looking at another house tomorrow, wish us luck!

9.13.2009

Happy Kickoff Day!

It's football season! I am happy. Sunday afternoons on the couch in PJs. (Even if I am dressed for church, when I come home, it's all about PJs for football viewing.)

That's what has been missing in my world since February. All is right again.

9.07.2009

Looking back on Tim

Tonight, as I did laundry, I found the 2nd to last gift my Uncle Tim ever gave us. It set me thinking about Tim, and his impact on my life.

In December 2006, at Christmas, he gave Donald and I a 1000 minute calling card. We tried to explain to him that we each had cell phones with free long distance, but he insisted we take the card.

I know this sounds small...but it wasn't. Not at all. It cost him $10.00, which is insignificant to most of us. To Tim, who lived on $475.oo a month (military disability), it was not so insignificant at all. But more than cost, it was the actual significance of the gift that made it large. Tim had schizophrenia, and unknown to him at the time, he had a brain tumor growing in his frontal lobe that would prove fatal in less than 5 months. Tim had little entertainment in life. TV and radio were off limits, as the mental illness caused him to have hallucinations while listening to them. No matter who was talking/singing, he heard Roseanne Barr's voice telling him to kill his mom. I cannot imagine going through life with the trials my uncle had to live with. The nightmare that he could not wake up from.

The one thing he loved, more than anything, was talking to people. He drank iced tea at the diner in the south end every morning and more iced tea in the middle of the night at the truck stop. The truckers and the waitresses were kind to him, and for that I thank God. He needed that kindness so much. He called my grandma several times each day, and other family members often also. He just needed to talk, even if you couldn't give him much time. He was lonely a lot. It's hard to make and keep friends when you are mentally ill. He found a few loyal friends when he joined the freemasons. Say what you will about the masons, but they took him in and accepted him. He needed that. He found another loyal friend in Pastor Don. Anyone who would listen patiently would be repaid, not through money, but through time. Tim would help anyone do anything. He'd give you a ride, change your flat tire, rip up your old carpet. Just ask, and he'd do. These calling cards, they were his lifeline. And he gave us one. We never used a minute of it, it sat on top of our microwave before falling behind the washer where I found it tonight. I wish I'd called him with it...or without it...I didn't. I can't change that. Had I known how soon he'd be gone, maybe I would have.

2 years ago this past May, my uncle died. He had refused all treatment except pain management and said God told him he would come get him. He went in his sleep, without pain. I think in some ways the tumor was a blessing to him. The psychiatrist had told my grandma that most schizophrenics die at their own hand, the disease it just too much to bear. This tumor, and being able to refuse operating, gave him a more acceptable way out of a life of challenges, and very little joy. He was able have healing in his relationship with my grandpa through the tumor, also, which he wanted more than anything else. He died on a Sunday morning, the same day he had asked to be anointed and prayed for in church. I hope he worshipped with the angels that day instead.

As for Tim and me...I don't know if I can even do it justice.

As a little girl, he was my "tiger" uncle. He had so many tattoos, more than anyone I'd ever seen, from his days in the Marines. One was a tiger on his stomach. I'd lift the edge of his shirt and he would roar and I would run. At age 4, this was so entertaining. He'd give my brother and I horsey rides on his hands and knees around my grandma's kitchen for hours. He's pull us in a box (thankfully they had hardwood floors). He took us up what seemed the largest hill in the world to go fishing for bluegill and crappies. He rode us around the pasture on his dirtbike. He bought us poppers and snakes from the fireworks tent. He paid me 50 cents to "clean his room." He was fun.

But he disappeared for months at a time...sometimes he wrote us letters while he was gone, but sometimes he didn't. I was a teenager when I learned why. Tim had schizophrenia. He had to go into the hospital for treatment, and medication changes, on a semi-regular basis. It was then that he wrote us letters...he always drew a monkey under his signature. But sometimes, we got no letters...during those absences he was not in the hospital. He was drunk. Tim was an alcoholic. My grandparents knew that long before they learned about the schizophrenia. They tried to get him help, but it never stuck. It was years before they learned that he drank because it was the only way to shut the voices up. He had fewer drinking episodes after he got treatment for the schizophrenia, but he still relapsed every few years. He knew he couldn't stay at my grandparents if he was drinking, so at those times, he stayed wherever he could find someone willing to let him. Eventually, he'd wind up back at the V.A. hospital, sober up and change meds, and he would be Tim again.

I was never scared of Tim. I trusted that he would never hurt me. As a teenager, even knowing that he mentally ill, I was never scared. My parents were divorced by the time I started attending church and my mom worked nights. Tim would come and pick me and my brother up, take us to dinner and then drop me off at whatever youth function they were having that night, and entertain James while I was there. I did not realize then how much off his monthly pension he was using on gas and food those nights. He sacrificed to do that for us. I thanked him each time, but my gratitude is higher now, knowing all I know.

When I went away to college, he called me sometimes and we'd talk for awhile. I'd see him for holidays and hear how he was doing when I talked to my grandma. Sometimes the news was good...sometimes it wasn't. That's the nature of mental illness.

Tim was generous to the very end. When he found out he had brain cancer, and could no longer drive, he said he wanted Donald to have his car. He died before we could get up there to get it. My grandfather was executor and passed it to Donald. Donald drove it until it died. We sold it this summer...and I kissed my fingers and laid that kiss on the car, feeling as if I was saying goodbye to Tim again. I miss him. All I have is a 2x4 inch plastic card and memories now.

8.23.2009

squirrels

I am the squirrel of the month. No, seriously. I was given the squirrel award at the faculty meeting Friday.

Squirrel awards are given to staff members who make fools of themselves.

A few weeks ago, my principal and I were the last two people in the building. Her hands were full, so she said, "Let's go out together and you can swipe us out." We walk to the swipe box, I swipe the card, the alarm activates and we walk out. When we were outside, however, she tested the doors and found them still unlocked. Needing to go back in for the hex-key to lock the push bars, she said, "You swipe us back in and I will get the hex-key." OK, simple enough. We enter, I swipe, she goes to the office door. The light is still blinking red. I swipe again, still red. I swipe again and it says "Zone 1 alarm, zone 1 alarm." I say, "It's not de-arming. Is it because you are already in the building?" Principal says, "No, that shouldn't matter. Swipe it again." I do, still red. She says, "Hand me your card." I do. She laughs, then says, "Amber, this is a Visa."

Yes, I was swiping in with a debit card. Apparently the school only takes MasterCard.

She calls school security and tells them there is no zone 1 alarm, just a special ed. teacher swiping in with her Visa instead of a prox card.

Later that night, as I reentered the building, the security staff gave me a hard time, then said I am probably not the first one to do it, I am just the first one to get caught doing it by my principal.

The bad thing is that I am in the building more than any other staff member after hours. Due to the guinea pigs, I go to school EVERY weekend, either on Saturday or Sunday, to check on them, feed them, etc. Also, with the one car issue and dropping the man off at OTC classes, if I have things to get done at school I usually just go back there instead of driving home. It's closer and I get something accomplished! So, in my hundreds of after hours visits to school, swiping in and out, I have NEVER screwed it up. I have never swiped the wrong card or activated an alarm. The one night I do, of course, my principal is standing there to see it.

So, I am now the proud recipient of a ceramic squirrel....until I hear of a new "squirrel" to pass it along to.

8.17.2009

cutsie pies!

I made these tiny little pies shaped like butterflies and tulips. But my camera is at school!! I so want to show these to the world, but they will be eaten up soon by the monday night dinner crowd.

I put NO effort into dinner tonight, its just spaghetti, green beans and bread. I used all my time and effort on the pies. I think everyone will agree its worth it when they see an adorable pie flower on a scoop of ice cream.

8.16.2009

do you have a deputie?

I saw a car this weekend that looked a lot like a police vehicle...but I figured it wasn't when I saw that the side said "Sherif."

I laughed.

8.15.2009

to-do lists

I like to-do lists because marking things off as I go makes me feel accomplished...but I hate the current one on my desk. It is not getting shorter. I've added so many things as I go that I cannot keep up!

But, I have always had that same type of feeling before a year starts, then I finally get it done and find out I still missed some things that should have been on the list, yet the first day still comes off ok.

I am resting in that knowledge now.

8.07.2009

Happy New Year!

Yes, it's that time of year! The August heat has finally gotten to the point where being outside is completely miserable unless you are in a cool body of water, car A/C's can't get cold for several minutes and everything you touch burns your skin.

Which means....school is starting soon! I am excited to be back in my routine, with my schedules and structure. I am ready to see my little darlings and all my teacher-friends.

I've been working in my classroom some this week, getting it ready. I've made trips to IPA, Mardel, Walgreens and Walmart getting the necessities (and a few frills!). I've got a class website half completed, where my students will be blogging about out community outings and cooking projects. I hope to finish it by the middle of next week.

Speaking of the class website...I am now the "Webmaster" for my school building. Our website has not been updated since 2005! It needs some major work. Since I took the technology boot camp class this summer, the head guy of the educational technology department decided I was the one who could do this work. I'm not sure I am entirely qualified...but luckily I married a man who is! Since beginning work in my room, I've already made 3 calls to the help desk, so they are probably scared to death that I've been choosen for this task. I'm not striving for awesome perfection (at least not yet), just something functional and decent to look at.

I've gotten 16 things marked off my to-do list...but 43 left to do, and I am sure I'll think of more before it's all said and done. Fortunately, a lot of them are "10-minute tasks."

That is all I really have to say. I just needed to share the excitement of the new year!

6.23.2009

Davy's dirt

For Davy's birthday, I decided to buy him the gift I thought he'd like best. Dirt.

Yes, good old dirt. Here in the Ozarks, digging is hard. Dig an inch and you hit rock. No fun for a little boy who likes to dig in dirt.

Last year, I got to see Davy with access to a dirt pile for over a week. It was his Papa's dirt. Every day Davy would say, "Papa, is this your dirt? I love your dirt! Can I have your dirt?" His Papa always answered, "As much as you can carry."

When Davy was supposed to be napping, he would stand and stare out the window. If you asked what he was doing, he answered, "Watching my dirt."

He played everyday in that dirt, digging with spoons, making holes, making roads, driving toy tractors and bulldozers through it.

I warned Hillery, I would be buying him his own dirt for his birthday. And so, I did. 1400 pounds of dirt. When he saw me dumping it out, he said, "What are you doing with the more dirt?" I said, "It's Davy's dirt. It's for your birthday." He responded with a grin, saying "Davy LOVES dirt! I'm gonna get my tractor!" Dragging his excavator to his dirt, he immediately began playing. With each bag Hillery and I carried in we had to ask him to move so we could dump it on the pile.

Before anyone (else) asks, Hillery was cool with the dirt. People keep seeming shocked about this. They seem to think she should be mad that I gave Davy dirt. More laundry, more mess, all the mud! That's what people keep saying. I say it's a summer of outside activity. Boys will find dirt whether you give it to them or not. I just gave him some he could actually dig in.

My mom and most of the people around our age, including my husband who is still unconvinced that Hillery still likes me, think this is a very strange gift. Hillery's parents and my grandparents think it's genius. I think they remember from having little boys that dirt happens, and dirt covered little boys are happy boys.

So, without further ado, here are some pictures of Davy's dirt.
The dirt from Oklahoma did not have rocks, sand or twigs in it, but the dirt from Ohio had some rocks, a little sand and a couple twigs. The Oklahoma dirt was darker in color, too. What I learned from this is that Lowe's dirt is 1 cent more than Walmart's dirt, but well worth the extra penny. Here Davy is showing me the rocks he picked out of his dirt. Later, these were all being stored in the scoop part of his excavator.




A happy, dirty birthday boy.













Making good use of all his tractors, trucks, bulldozers, excavators, trowels and hand rakes. Just a boy and some dirt. In other words, pure contentment.

The days of Davy

Davy's birthday was 10 days ago. I am late blogging about it, because I had trouble with getting the pictures I wanted for the blog onto the computer. Davy turned 4. As Hillery said, it seems very big. He has completely left toddlerhood behind. He's a "big kid" n0w. I knew he had changed, but I did not know how much until I looked at this sequence of pictures:

This picture was taken in May of 2007. It is still one of my very favorite pictures of Davy, speaking volumes about his affectionate and caring nature.






This one was taken in May of 2008, on a visit to the train museum at Grant Beach Park. He already had lost some of the "babyishness" of the previous year.






This is his 3rd birthday last June. (Side note: How did his hair grow so much in just one month??)









And here he is on his 4th birthday. Crazy. He changed so much in that one year.











Happy Birthday, Little Boy. I can't wait to see how much you change in the next year. It seems like you've grown up so much, and so much faster than it went with Gabbie. I love the sweet nature you have. The hugs, and cuddles and concern for everyone around you. You are so intuitive about how people are feeling. That will serve you well as you grow up. We love you. Enjoy the dirt!

6.19.2009

just one extra letter

There is a church on Glenstone with one of those "clever" signs out front. It reads, "Don't be discouraged. Moses was once in a basket case." Just that one extra word, the letter a, takes this saying from just being eye rollingly annoying to making no sense.

Nice.

6.07.2009

summertime

It is summer now. Last year, I had several things to do right when school ended. I also had a long trip that happened unexpectedly.

This summer is feeling more "blank canvas-y" than last. Davy's birthday is next week. I will go home and see my family at some point, and go to Bella Vista to see Bryan.

Other than that, the summer seems wide open.

Truth be told...I don't really like that feeling as much as I used to.

6.02.2009

sticky thinking

Today, standing in our classroom after school, I realized something. I live a very sticky life.

At that moment in time, my hands were sticky from holding the hand of a truly darling child who had been eating an apple. My pants leg was sticky from another student's juice spill. The crowning touch was the sticky goo in my hair, contributed by a child who hugged my head with pudding on her hand as I tied her shoe.

It was a very sticky day. On any given day, at some point, it is guaranteed that my hands will get sticky with one thing or another. (Only on a lucky day will only my hands be sticky. On a normal day...anything goes.)

I'm very lucky to live this sticky life. You see, the stickiest things in life are frequently also the sweetest. Toffee, caramel, jam... All sticky. My students...sticky, but sweet, for the most part.

I'm happy to have sticky hands, and pants, and even hair. For this stickiness is a sign of some seriously sweet blessings in my life.

It's summer as of 1:30 tomorrow. We all need the break. I'll be happy to have it, I know. But I will miss my sticky life in our classroom.

I will worry. Do they have enough to eat? Are they getting enough attention? Do the summer school teachers understand the words they use that mean something else? Is their home stable? Is their electricity on? Will they move over the summer without me knowing where, or saying good bye? Are they lonely?

I will pray. For protection. For stability. For someone to care. For provision. For retention of skills. For another chance to hold their sticky hands.

Day in and day out, these are my blessings. My sticky, sweet, ornery, stubborn blessings. I am used to being there for them. Letting go for the summer is very hard on my heart. Summer has its own blessings, its own share of sticky, but just as my students need the routines of our classroom, I know my life needs it, too. My heart is held tightly by all that sticky.

5.30.2009

happy week!

This upcoming week, I have deemed "Happy Week" in my room. I told all my kids that it is the last three days of school (with 2 hour early release on wednesday!) and that we ARE going to all be happy, get along, stay out of time out, have fun and be friends. That this is the last time we get to see each other for 2 and a half months and since some of them are changing schools, we may not see each other for a long time (truthfully ever in some cases, but that may be too difficult for them to hear). So we want to leave with happy memories in our hearts.

Lets see if they go for it.

5.26.2009

4-6-9-13??

My first year at my current school, I started with 4 students...yes, I quickly escalated to 6 and ended the year with 8...but originally, I got to settle in with 4. That was nice.

This year, I started with 6 (it was supposed to be 8, but two moved before school started). I am ending with 8 again.

Next year, I am projected to start with 9.

So, it was plus 2 for the second year, plus 3 for the third...if this pattern continues, will I start with 13 next year??

(See, i can do math when I need to!)

5.17.2009

thinking

In lieu of blogging, I've been thinking. There has been a lot to think about in the past month of blog silence. I can't even explain all I've been thinking about, nor would I if I could.

Some things aren't for the internet. They are for my thoughts alone, or prayers to God, or quiet conversations with those who know me best and love me anyway. They aren't meant for 2 sentence comments. They are meant for emotional response.

Some things hurt to much to be put where they can be used as ammunition.

Some things mean to much, are too precious, are too special, to be shared with the world at large.

Some things are too shameful to want read by people who won't understand...or to be heard by anyone at all, sometimes.

Some things are too judgmental to feel fair...they are safer inside.

Some things can't be expressed in words...they are too abstract or complex for the keyboard to handle.

These things I've been thinking take too much time. That's why I've been absent. But I'll be back. With thoughts that can be blogged, expressed, shared and commented upon.

4.22.2009

How 'bout some more randomosity?

Yes, I am still trying to get "randomosity" into the dictionary, thanks for asking!
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My new niece is here, Amelia Rae. 7 and a half pounds, and perfect. Healthy and everyone who has seen her says she is very cute. I can't wait to go home and see her. We had a bit of a scare with Jess, my brother's fiance, though. After the baby was born they could not get her to stop bleeding and had to do emergency surgery. They were afraid they would lose her. They managed to save her, but she cannot have any more kids...which is hard to take at 19 years old. We are all glad she's doing much better.
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My new favorite website is CakeWrecks.com. Laughs for hours, I promise. Try it.
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I made a pledge this month (well, not at the beginning of the month, but I made the pledge for one month)...for Earth Day. I did not do this because I love Earth Day, I am kind of indifferent to it. I did it because it was a suggestion for a writing prompt that my class was doing.

I pledged to give up disposable plastic water bottles (Pure Life, how I miss you...). For anyone who knows me, this is major. I drink a lot of water...and I like it cold. So tap water has always been difficult, since its not cold. I have tried keeping a pitcher in the fridge, but its hard to remember to keep it filled, plus its not portable. But, I have always felt a little guilty about the billions of pounds of plastic water bottles in landfills and floating in the ocean. So, I made it my pledge.

Now, I have bought many reusable water bottles...I've never liked them. There are many reasons why, depending on the bottle. I dislike stainless steel bottles because they tinge the water with a metallic taste, and feel horrible against my teeth. I dislike bottles with lids you have to screw off to drink from, the wide mouth usually results in spills and they are hard to drink out of when driving. I dislike pop up spouts because I tend to chew on them and ruin the bottle. I dislike loop top bottles because they are hard to manuever. I dislike bottlew with the flexi-straw that you can cover up and then expose, because if they are removable you lose them and if they aren't I think you can't really clean them. I hate bottles with rubber rings in the lids that fall out all the time, eventually getting lost and then the bottle leaks from under the lid rim onto your shirt.

This dislike of reusable bottles adds to the problem of not buying water.

However, for Donald's birthday, one of the things I got him was this new water bottle from WalMart's Earth Day line.

I got it for him in blue, not green (it also comes in clear). Occasionally, I drink out of it. I found that I really, really like it!

It's the perfect water bottle. I'm in love with it. I bought myself and my para each one, also. (I got blue but with a light blue top to distinguish it from Donald's bright blue top. Deloris's is clear with a bright blue top.) I liked it enough I went back and got 2 more (another blue with light blue lid and a clear with bright blue lid.) This is to meet my need for cold water. I can fill them at night, put them in the fridge and then take them to school and put them in the fridge there and have cold water all day. With only one, I ran out of cold water at 11 am and had to fill it with not cold water, chill it, then drink it. Pain in the butt. Also, I have a feeling that since these were "Earth Day" bottles that they are in limited quantity and I would hate to buy only one, lose it/forget it/break it and never be able to get another.

Here's my case for it being the perfect water bottle (which Deloris feels that it is too. She keeps saying, "I love my water bottle Thanks so much."):
It holds 32 oz, which is a good amount for taking with me somewhere, meaning I don't run out 15 minutes into drinking it, but its not like carrying around a pitcher. It's hard plastic, not the softer, bendier kind that absorbs smells. It has a rubber ring that cannot be removed, so it will never be lost. It has a curved middle, making holding it easier. It has a loop on the top (hard plastic, not flimsy like the loop top bottles, and its not holding the lid on, its part of the lid), which I have found makes it easy to carry with one finger when my hands are full. It comes in blue (yes, to me, this really really matters). But I think what makes it perfect for me is the straw/spout hybrid. There is a straw inside, not flexible but rigid, that is removable and a hard plastic spout on top you drink from. It lets you drink like a straw, rather than tipping the bottle, so no drips and spills, but it gets rid of all the issues I have had with straw bottles.

So, my pledge is very do-able now, because I have the perfect bottles.
(My only complaint is that they say "reduce reuse recycle" on them for earth day, but luckily its not written on, its part of the plastic, so its the same color and blends in well.)

So, if you are needing a water bottle, and have never found just the right one, this is my recommendation to you- GET ONE OF THESE! (If you hate it, you can always rehome it with me...) The walmart on independence is out of them, but the one on sunshine had a lot of them.
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Donald turned 30 last week, I did not blog about it because he did not want to be reminded of it.
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Donald started a new job last Monday, he has really enjoyed it and been very happy, which is a HUGE blessing. Also, it has given me a new enjoyable hobby...matching ties to dress shirts. I found that I really like to do this. It makes me happy inside. I like to hold 50 ties up to a shirt, weed out the noncontenders and then deciding on the best one. Yes, I am strange....but you knew that already.
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Less than 30 school days left. WOOHOO!

4.16.2009

how many moods

Last night Donald asked if I was mad. I said no.

He asked if I was sad. I said no.

He asked if I was one of the 50 moods women have that men call mad or sad.

I laughed. A lot.

He explained that there are three moods. Happy, mad and sad. Everything else was made up by women.

So, how many moods do you think there are?

4.10.2009

the state of life

The other night, Joel summed up (unintentionally) how I have been feeling about a lot of things in life. Here's how the conversation went:

He looked at our movie/video game shelves and said, "You should sort those and then alphabetize them so you could find them easier." (Now, I know a lot of people do this...but ask anyone who knows me and Donald well if they would consider the two of us the type to do it and the laughter would carry to the moon.)

I replied, "Go for it." He looked at me puzzled and I said, "I will probably never sort them and get them in ABC order. As close as I get it making sure all the Gilmore Girls seasons are on one shelf. But I would never stop anyone who WANTED to organize them from doing it."

He happily pulled all the cases from the shelf and began to sort them into piles of XBOX, Wii, PS2, and DVD. (Funny side note, the 3 VHS tapes are still on the floor. He could not figure out where to sort them to.) Each pile was then sorted into 2 piles (first half and second half of alphabet). Box sets were put together, and then the sorted and alphabetized groups of cases were shelved.

As he finished, I said (jokingly...but certainly would not have stopped him if he'd gone for it), "You can do the bookcase next, if you want."

He looked at the bookcase for a few seconds and then said, "I like to organize things...but I dislike things that cannot be straightened out...that's why I dislike that bookshelf." (Needless to say, he left without straightening out the bookcase.)

I laughed a lot at that statement of Joel disliking my bookcase...but it has become clear to me that it is a great way to express how I feel about some things.

I can't fix them, I can't straighten them out...and I dislike that.

I am not going to express the thing making me feel this way the most, not here on the internet, anyway. If you know me and I trust you, I would tell you if you asked...but I would be afraid of the repercussions of putting it here.

The other things are family illnesses, personal disappointment in myself and a general bitterness that I still struggle against with this stupid infertility.

I want a life more easily sorted, alphabetized and straightened.

4.05.2009

prayers

Papa starts radiation next monday, he will have to go 5 days a week for at least 18 treatments. He is not going to do chemo unless the radiation fails.

My stepmom could also use prayer. She has so many ailments it is hard to list them here, but the biggest one is that her intestines are dying. They have removed so many parts that they said they can't do anything else, and that there will be no more surgeries because her insides are just scar tissue (apparently scar tissue inside is a sticky goo, not the type of scar tissue on the outside of the body, which I did not know). She is in a lot of pain, has not been able to eat solid food for about a year and yes, it will probably eventually kill her. Its really hard for her and my dad to live that way.

3.29.2009

He has a way with words...

God does not speak in literal words to me often. Sometimes I really wish He would. But He mainly nudges my heart and spirit and seems to gently guide me. But, when He does speak in words, He certainly knows how to get my attention!

Yesterday, I was asked/invited to do a service ministry that evening. I got the invite via text and thought, "ugh...it's raining and cold and supposed to snow later and I have work to do for school. I don't really feel like it." I read the text to Donald and he said he was not super excited to go, either. I picked up my phone to text back that we couldn't go. (Couldn't is a stretch here, as we COULD...but did not want to. I was justifing "couldn't" by saying I HAD to do school stuff, even knowing that I could do it today instead.) Just as I unlocked the phone to type, God spoke. Clearly, concisely and in words.

He said, "Jonah did not WANT to go to Ninevah, either."

This got my attention. I told Donald I was going to go anyway. He said he'd come, too.

Now, I know that statement could have many meanings (sadness, threatening, instructing, etc.), but I did not stop and ask for interpretation. I just figured if it was serve or be swallowed by a whale and THEN serve (because Jonah did not get out of doing what he was asked, he just was delayed by disobedience and a whale)...then I'm gonna go with serve.

Plus...I've been asking God for a lot lately (patience, job for Donald, healing for Papa), so it would seem that to ask and never give is certainly wrong.

There are a lot of reasons I should have said yes without God having to tell me to (for starters, because it was the right thing to do). I did not. That makes me disappointed in myself. I wish I had wholeheartedly said yes right away without the prompt. (Although the rare occasion of hearing God's voice is nice.) I am glad I went and I really hope that next time, I won't have to hear Him tell me to.

I am also glad I went, because it saved God the trouble of getting a whale into a landlocked state and in position to swallow me.

3.26.2009

Papa update again

Papa's face swelled up last Tuesday. He went to the doctor and the doctor pulled out fluid with a needle. He said it was either infection at the operation site or the lymphoma was back.

Today (Thursday), the doctor told him it is the lymphoma. It is back much sooner than anyone ever thought it would be. Only a couple weeks after the all clear, remission declaration.

He has to go back this week and get some immune system tests run and then start radiation.

Pray for Papa again. He cleared the lymphoma once, I have faith he can do it again!

3.23.2009

Dreaming

Why does dreaming come in spurts? I won't dream for months, then suddenly, 15 dreams a night for a week. How does that work?

Also, when you do dream, why do you wake up feeling completely exhausted? Is you body actually awake and performing these dreams in an alternate world?

Why are my dreams either insane or mundane, but no in between?

Why have I never, ever had the most common dreams of flying and falling?

3.18.2009

true fit

Warning: this post is really long and a bit rambly. If it is not of interest to you, you don't have to read it. It was more of a way for me to analyze my feelings than anything else.

Talking on the phone with Hillery this week was enlightening. And the more I ponder the conversation, the more it feels true and right.

It started with me mentioning something about school next year (can't really remember what it was, but something), and her asking if that meant I planned to stay at this school next year. (History:I stayed in my first school district 2 years, my second district 2 years and have almost finished my second year at this one.) I said yes, and that I really needed to because I was afraid if I left another district after 2 years, people would stop hiring me, for fear of my 2 year attention span.

Now, for the record, I did not dislike either of my previous jobs.

I loved the Co-op with everything in me. I loved what it stood for, I loved my boss, I loved my kids (even the hard ones). I loved the atmosphere. I enjoyed that it was all special ed. Usually, there are only a few sped teachers in one location, and we feel a bit isolated. At the co-op, we were a family, we had a common goal of helping these special kids.

I only left because I wanted a baby. And, despite loving my job, I wanted that baby more than any job on the planet. I also knew I could not safely do my job pregnant. Too many restraints, too many violent kids, too much stress. I would put my baby's safety before the job, and the students would suffer. That was not fair. I would become a liability and I could not let that happen.

I also had a eye-opening conversation with my boss, who said she could never have had kids and done this job, because when she goes home she has nothing left to give a baby. She was right. And I knew it. Had I known then that I could not have a baby, I would not have left. I was a little burnt out on getting beaten up, but I would have known the summer would give me time to rev back up and I would have been ready to get back into my job.

I would have stayed...but after my boss left the co-op a year later (due to a lot of garbage that still upsets me) I was glad I had left. I just couldn't see the place without her at the helm. She was the heart and soul of the place. And after the co-op closed forever last spring, I am even more thankful that I left. It breaks my heart to know it is not there serving kids. It was a great place and kids got helped in a way that cross-cat classes cannot offer. Had I been working there when it closed, it would have been even harder.

At my second school, the job was less stressful kid-wise, and more stressful paper-wise. But I really enjoyed my kids there. They were sweet, and seemed more...wholesome..than "city" kids. (This was an extremely rural Mayberry-esque setting.) I formed really good relationships with co-workers and enjoyed "running the show" of the sped dept. It felt good to know that I really did know my stuff. I worked hard, but it made me feel competent and professional. I learned a lot as a quasi-administrator. It was valuable experience that I would not trade for anything. (Plus school paid trips to Tan-tar-a are pretty nice!)

I had no intentions of leaving there when I did. I liked it, I was happy, it was working for me. I wasn't looking at job postings or putting out resumes. I signed a contract to return, knowing I had until June 1st to change my mind, but not thinking that was even in the realm of possibility. Then Hanna told me the job I had always wanted, but it had never been open since I had been certified, had just opened up.

I thought hard and finally decided I had to go for it, or I'd always wonder what could have been. So I put in my resume and application. I told my boss at that job that I did not intend to look for a job, this just happened to be my dream job and had just opened up. I also told her I was not going to take just any job and leave, because I only wanted to leave if just the right thing came along. She understood and wrote me a nice reference.

I did the interview with the central office, and my time as a sped coordinator served me well, I was able to answer all the process/legal questions without hesitation. I later found out my interviewer had been replaced at his former job by my co-op boss and that he had told her my interview was "flawless." That was really nice to hear.

I got the interview at my "dream job," plus 3 others. One for the same "dream job" but at a different location. (The dream job was an autism classroom, for those who don't know. Autism was always my main interest in disability, due to Danny, Lindsey and later, Zach. It still fascinates me like nothing else.) One interview was middle school cross-cat...which I knew before I went that I did not want to do, but my co-op boss advised me to do the interview anyway. She said it was good practice at interview skills (it was the first of the 4 on the schedule), and showed the district that I was not going to turn my nose up at every job other than the autism position. It showed an open mind and kept doors open.

The cross-cat interview apparently went well...they offered me the job. I turned it down, I told them I had two interviews for a position I wanted more and was hoping to get on at one of those 2 schools.

The next interview was for the autism job at the school I had always wanted to work in. I had interned there and fallen in love with the school. I prayed hard...I really wanted them to offer me the job. In the interview they asked if I had anymore interviews set up, and I said I had already had one and had two more scheduled. They asked what would be my first choice. I told them it was there. That I had wanted to work there, in that class, for 6 years. The principal called me the next day and was very gentle in letting me know that I was not getting the job. She told me she knew how badly I wanted it, and they liked me, but they went with the candidate with a master's degree almost completed in Autism. She said she usually sent a letter letting applicants know if they did not get the job, but that she knew I had another interview that day and wanted me to have the information so I did not wait on their response to answer any other offers. This was very kind of her, but my heart was a bit broken at that time.

Still, I went to the third interview, for another autism class, and decided to give it my all. It was still the job I wanted, even if it was not in the location I desired. I thought, "All things are for a reason. That must not have been the place for me, no matter how much I wanted it to be. Maybe this is where I need to be." My Gramma called me on the way to the interview and prayed for me. That gave me a lot of peace. You see, when my Gramma prays, things happen! But, I only considered the possibility of getting the job as the answer to the prayer. I did not look at the alternative. This was my last chance (for the year) to have a crack at the autism job.

I didn't get it. They went with a lady who had been a para in the autism room while going back to school to get her degree. She knew the staff, the kids, the class. She had the edge. For them, she fit.

I felt a bit let down, but I was ok with it, because i still had my job. And there was nothing wrong with it, I liked it, it was a good job. So I would stay put and maybe get a crack at the autism job another year. Sure, I had one more interview to go, but it was not the job I wanted and I figured I would do the interview but either not get the job or not accept the offer.

I arrived at the interview. It did not start well. (First I was lost on the way and had to have Hanna google the directions to the school.) Then, I sat outside the office for an hour after my interview was to start. I waited and waited, finally the principal came out, looked confused and said "Can I help you?" I said I was there for the 4:30 interview. She asked my name and then said, "Oh, you don't have an interview. You never called me back." I did not want to be rude or disrespectful, but I also wanted to clear the record. "Yes, I did," I said, "You asked me to come in on Tuesday, but I said I had a funeral and we decided on Wednesday." As soon as I said funeral, her face changed. "OOOHHHH. Yes. I forgot. I'm sorry!" She apologized. She asked the interview team if they would be willing to stay a little later and give me the interview, since I had waited so long.

I did the interview...I answered the questions, some I nailed, some the principal questioned. But the whole time, I sat and thought, "This fits." I did not know what the job would look like, really. I had no experience with running a functional life skills classroom. But as I sat with these people and talked about this job, it felt so right. It fit.

I was shocked. I had expected to walk out and go back to my job and be fine with it. But as I walked to my car, I thought, "This feels comfortable. I can do this." Still, I wanted to think and pray and talk it over and make pro/con lists before deciding. It wasn't what I planned on doing and it wasn't my dream job, even if some of the students in the class may have autism, there was more to this than just that.

The principal had told me I was the 3rd interview for the job, and she wanted to do at least 2 more, but would let me know in the next 5 days. She called the next day and offered me the job. I was surprised and asked about the other interviews. She said she usually does at least 5, but they talked after I left and decided they did not need to, that "we just all thought you fit."

That confirmed what I was feeling, and I accepted the job. I was nervous, because I did not know what it would be like, but I knew it would be ok. It felt right. It would be new, challenging and good.

I'm almost 2 full years in. It still feels right. It still fits. I never expected to end up doing this type of program, but I love it. I think the things we get to do with the students are amazing. I am thrilled to be back in self-contained sped., which I've always liked more than resource sped. I like having my own kids, in a smaller group, rather than 20-30 kids I see randomly throughout the day. I like cooking and community outings. I love having a para again (adult ocnversation/support throughout the day is priceless!)

I am genuinely happy in this position. I could easily see myself doing it for many more years. I'm not "looking for the next step." This is where I am supposed to be, I just didn't know it.

(Also, with as high as gas prices got in the last 2 years, I could never have afforded driving 89 miles round trip to work anymore.)

3.15.2009

Papa update

All bone marrow tests, blood tests and body scans show that Papa is cancer free! He did not have to do chemo or radiation! We know this is God, we know it was a healing, because the way the tumor wrapped around his facial nerves, they could not cut it all out for fear of paralyzing the right side of his face. But whatever the doctor could not get out is gone now.

He has to go back every three months for a year, just to recheck that he is cancer free. After that, just his regular once a year work up.

Prayers work. God is able.

3.14.2009

an admission

In high school, "Hootie and the Blowfish" was big. Everyone loved them. They got played at all the dances.

I hated them. I did not enjoy their sound, they had nothing that I found appealing.

So, when news broke a while back about Hootie's lead singer, Darius Rucker, going country for a solo album, I was skeptical. I did not like this guy when his band was big in the 90's, surely now he just a washed up 40-something ex pop star trying for a comeback however he can, right?

When his first single broke, I liked it. I liked it the first time I heard it, even knowing it was his. On subsequent hearings, it grew on me. I liked it more and more. I kept thinking, wow, this is really the guy from Hootie?

His next single broke. I loved it.

I've now heard his whole album. I like or love over 3/4 of the songs. The other 1/4 are listenable. I don't hate any of them, but they serve the usual filler purpose. They won't be singles, or get radio play, but if you buy the whole album, you won't feel compelled to skip them, either.

My admission...I, the Hootie hater, the skeptic...have fallen in love with Darius Rucker as a country artist.

3.12.2009

a rant

I am tired of people who tell me they have no money for their kids, yet you can tell from the smell of them, and their child/child's belongings, that they obviously smoke a lot.

I get that nicotine is an addiction, please do not say that to me in the comments. Most of my family has dealt with addiction to either nicotine, alcohol and/or illegal substances.

However, addictions can be broken.

If you have to choose between a freaking pack of smokes each day and dinner for your kid, I am sorry, but if your child eating is not the priority here then you are a lousy human being.

And you can say that the cost of cigarettes does not equal the cost of food, so giving it up would not help feed the family. Lie. Cigarettes are a few dollars a pack. With three bucks, you can buy an entire loaf of bread, pack of cheese and some butter. Grilled cheese for all! You can buy noodles and sauce. Yay spaghetti! You can buy a box of macaroni and cheese and some tuna to throw in for protein. Not my tast, but most kids love it. You can buy eggs and a box of add water only pancake mix. Breakfast for dinner, love it!

Buying cigarettes to feed your addiction while your kids sit hungry is selfish. It's cruel. It's abusive.

Period.

3.08.2009

randomosity

Yeah, maybe randomosity is not a real word, but if I use it often enough, Webster's will think it is. (Examples: jiggy, bootylicious, and blog.)

Nothing really important to blog, just float around my head thoughts trying to escape, so I'll put them here.
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There is a song on the radio right now, I dislike it, so naturally it gets lodged in my brain and replays the same two lines for days on end. Even if I only hear the first word before I change the station, the middle lines of the chorus stick like glue. That's irritating!!
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There was a child in front of me at WalMart today in the check out line. I really wanted to have a long talk with, and/or smack her parents. She took some gum off the shelf without asking and placed it with the groceries. Her mom asked her to put it back. The child (around the age of 10), looked straight at her mother and said, "Oh, I see. Dad is already mean to me so now you are going to be mean, too." (Dad was also standing right there.) Mom (committing the crime of engaging pouty, sulky whining) replies "Dad was not mean to you. That Hannah Montana guitar is too much money for us." Child argues "Well, gum is not expensive, so I am getting it." Mom replies, "You did not behave in the store, so you do not get a treat." (Which is a good rule, but only if enforced.) Child whines, "Dad, mom is being mean again! I just want gum. And a soda. Those aren't expensive. Okay, Dad? I am getting gum and a soda." Child walks to cooler and gets out a soda. Mom rolls her eyes and says "Fine, just get something for your brother, too, so I don't have to hear him whine." (Brother was not present.) Girl grabs a snicker bar, then puts it back and gets a "trial size" snack and says, "He's mean to me all the time, I don't like him. He only deserves the smallest thing." Mom says "Fine. I didn't like my brothers at your age either. As long as he gets something." (Dad remains silent for all of this.)

ARGH. Why? Why aren't parents acting like parents anymore?????
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I would blog about how I truly feel about the current weather, but if I did, it would snow tomorrow. So I am just going to say the weather's been "alright."
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I want to learn to make Korean Bulgogi. I love that stuff. It shouldn't be too hard.
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We have three months left of school. Three months does not seem short, but it is fewer than 65 school days. Crazy. It's winding down already.
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I am finally feeling better after being sick for almost the entirety of Febuary. Antibiotics are truly a miracle.
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I've decided I have no problems with bribery, so long as it saves my sanity.
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I want to move somewhere with superb mass transit, or an all inclusive village where everything is in walking distance. Cars are too expensive. What with gas and upkeep, its just too much. (We had to put $475 into our car Friday. New front and rear brakes, front rotors, alignment and oil change.)
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Guinea pigs hate to have their nails trimmed.
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I want to be a Fraggle. Think about it, a 30 minute work week? Count me in!
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So, I think that's it for now.

2.27.2009

stupid snow!

Well, I was SOOOOO excited about spring and warmth and mosquitoes, so naturally we are going to have snow this weekend.

Winter has to blow one more big raspberry at me so that it can say NANANANANA you were wrong!

2.26.2009

Bad Good news

I have news. It is bad news. But it is good, no, GREAT news also.

I got bitten by 3 mosquitoes today.

Yep. I was outside the school waiting for parents to come pick up my tutoring kids and I got bit. I also killed several, so I am positive they are mosquito bites.

I hate mosquitoes and itchy bug bites.

BUT...it means spring is upon us!!!!

Goodbye winter and your cold stupid snow. Goodbye grey all the time and heavy coats. GOODBYE INDOOR RECESS!!!

It's Spring!

2.15.2009

Anchor Inn



This is Anchor Inn on the Lake, located in Branson West. it is the prettiest place I have ever stayed (in America). The octagonal lighthouse part on the side is where our room, "The Mediterranean Lighthouse Room" was located. There are 3 other rooms, "The Maryland Room," "The Virginia Room," and "The Kansas Sunflower Room." The Innkeepers, Mike and Dee let us see all the rooms before other guests were there and I really think our room was the prettiest. If it were unavailable, I would take the Virginia as a second choice. It has a pretty four poster bed with red linens, an electric fireplace, a sliding door that leads to a deck and path to the lake and a jacuzzi tub in the bathroom. I didn't find anything wrong with the Virginia room, it just wasn't quite as nice as our room. The Maryland was a pretty blue, with a jacuzzi, but the jacuzzi is in the bedroom, not seperate, which is a loss for me. Also, the fireplace was 2 feet from the side of the bed, which is too close to really enjoy. The Kansas room was too small for me, also the clawfoot tub was in the corner of the bedroom. It was my least favorite.

But, back to our room. This is the top of the lighthouse. There are windows all the way around, and a jacuzzi tub. This is not the typical jets out of the side jacuzzi. It was an air massage with tiny holes along the floor of the tub, which sent bubbles up. Much less forceful than the jets in a normal jacuzzi, but super nice feeling. And, the super-bonus was underwater lights! My water could be blue, purple, orange, green, teal, red, and yellow. I could freeze it, or set it to cycle at a speed I liked. So much fun. This was also the largest tub I have ever been in. I wanted to forward my mail and just live in this tub, but Donald said no.

Directly across from the tub were sliding doors leading to our own balcony. Unfortunately, we did not use the balcony, what with the 35 degree temperature. But it was pretty. Also, the vertical blinds that covered the sliding glass doors had been individually covered in shirred chiffon, as had the thing above them that holds them, making them soft and pretty. I've never seen that before but I loved it!
From the outside, you can see we had a balcony and a deck, also. Very cool. We had two exits from our lower level, one to the deck, one to the common areas of the house.



This is the view toward the common areas and deck door. Off to the left was the bathroom with a shower (for the non jacuzzi soakers).




This is the view from the common area door, here you can see our beautiful bed. It was super comfy and very pretty. It was also a king sized bed, which we have never had before. It felt so big!

We loved this bed and breakfast. If I had to list any complaints they would be that it is hard to find (especially in the dark) and that the cooking, while tasty, was not "creative" like some other places we have gone. Simple food like pancakes, fruit and ham were the dishes we ate. Truthfully, that is not a huge problem for me, since it was still yummy and she avoided the foods I told her I was allergic to and Donald wouldn't eat. (Raspberries and eggs.)

Overall, I am pleased. We will go back. We will stay in this room if possible. It's the perfect room. It was clean and fresh and calm feeling, with pale sage and whites and touches of lavender.

I loved the fact that this inn was not covered in flowers everwhere. Some places are flowered walls, beds, table cloths, everything. I hate that. This in was just crisp and nice.

Each room has a theme based on where the inn keepers lived while Mike was in the Navy. Each bed, when you arrive, has a special gift that is from the area the room represents. We got italian glitterati candies. Our room was based on their time in the Mediterranean, on the island of Sardignia, La Meddaluna.

I also loved the fact that the innkeepers were christians and the entire inn was nonsmoking, including outside. No smoking anywhere on their property.

2.09.2009

Good news

Gramma called me and said that Papa's preliminary body scan does not show cancer anywhere else in his body.

They are going to need to do chemo or radiation or both to treat what they couldn't get out of his face/neck.

My great grandma Bea (Papa's mom) had chemo and did really badly on it, so Papa wants to try radiation alone first. He sees the oncologist later this week to discuss it and see what the best option will be.

Keep praying! It's working!

2.08.2009

strange sickness

Well, this illness started with Davy having a sore throat, then throwing up, then feeling better in a couple days.

When I got it, it started with the sore throat, then a fever, then congestion and a bit of cough.

Now that my husband has it, it is a fever, a little throat soreness, a headache, chills, coughing and sneezing.

How does one illness manifest in so many different ways? Or did we not have the same thing?

I am feeling better, still a little congested and my throat is still a little tender, but I can swallow things again! No more fever and no more cough.

I hope he gets better soon, though. He actually agreed to take medicine, so I know he is feeling bad.

What an anniversary weekend, huh? (Saturday was our 6 year anniversary...we couldn't do much. Hopefully we will be all better and able to celebrate on valentines day!)

2.07.2009

Tea

I really, really wish I liked hot tea. It sounds like it would be so soothing to my poor angry throat. But try as I might to doctor it into something drinkable, I just cannot get past the fact that it tastes awful. I could make it drinkable with honey, but by the time I did, I may as well just drink honey.

2.04.2009

Pray for Papa

My Papa, Jim, was diagnosed with lymphoma today. Right now, thats all I know. They haven't told him what kind yet, he has to meet with 2 more doctors and get a full body scan to see where all in his body it is. Then they will give him a treatment plan.

This hurts my feelers really bad.

I want miracles. I want it to disappear. I want him to not push away from God because of this. He was estranged from God for almost 20 years and has slowly found his way back over the last two years. He is in a good place right now, I want his faith to continue to grow strong.

I want a lot. But I serve a big God.

Pray with me. Pray for Papa.

1.28.2009

Okay, I totally agree now.

Today, I looked outside, and I thought for sure school would be in session tomorrow. The roads were getting clearer, the weather had stopped and we had already missed two days.

Then, the text from SPS Alerts. School cancelled Thursday. (Sponsored by AGCU, which cracks me up.)

I was a bit confused. And couldn't decide if I was happy or not. I mean, I know I won't want to make these days up. That part of having snow days really sucks. But, I also don't relish the idea of going outside at 7 am in half a foot of snow and spending the day in a classroom with kids who cannot have outside recess and have spent the equivelent of a weekend at home after only one day at school. So the third snow day was a bit of a drag, but also a bit of a relief.

Still, I was wondering why it was cancelled.

Then...I decided to drive to school to check on the pets (2 guinea pigs and a betta in my room, a goldfish and a turtle in Charles' room). I knew I'd have to go tonight or tomorrow, so decided to just get it done.

The whole way down Ingram Mill, Sunshine and Scenic, I thought "It's not great, but it's certainly not bad enough to cancel school."

But when I turned off of Scenic to come to the school, I realized just how bad the "secondary" roads still were. It has not been warm enough to get rid of anything, and the roads that aren't plowed are BAD. I spun out 4 times in one block on Walnut. I pulled to a stop at a stop sign and had to try three times to get the car moving again. That's a road several of my kids have to come down on their bus to school.

I am thankful that the administration cancelled tomorrow. I totally see why and agree with the decision. I am glad I drove to the school, so that any second guessing was put to rest. I am glad that the safety of our students was put above the need to get 175 school days in.

Thanks, SPS. I appreciate your decision.

1.23.2009

late Christmas present? Early birthday present?

I am not sure why only the title of this post published the first time. I will try again!

My present was a wonderful, fabulous gift that made my whole week brighter. Here's the story:

Guy 1: Amber's birthday is in less than a month. We should get her a present.

Guy 2: You know, we really should. We've never given her one and she HAS been a loyal fan since she was 6.

Guy 1: But what can we give her that would make up for all the years we didn't give her anything?

Guy 2: I don't know...

:both guys thinking:

Guy 1: I've got it! We can fire Herm Edwards!

Guy 2: You're right! That would make her really happy! Let's do it!

(The previous conversation took place between the decision makers of the Kansas City Chiefs. Donald thinks I am nuts and this decision was not about me. He's totally wrong.)

1.19.2009

Random update info

I've had stuff to write, but no real motivation to blog. So I didn't. Sorry for anyone who wished there was a post in the past couple weeks. Here is some of the stuff I may have written about if I'd felt like it.

Jax is getting better. No more twitching when touched and his fur is growing back. After all that, he caught a cold and sneezed non-stop for a week or so, but he seems to be over that, also. He doesn't mind his new food too much. The hardest adjustment has been not getting table scraps from Donald. (It's been as hard on Donald as it has been on Jax.

I got my SMART Board on Friday! It is wonderfully fun and I cannot wait to see how much fun my students have with it.

In related news, I am thinking I am too much of a teacher. Saturday night I dreamt of using my SMART Board. Sunday night I dreamt of teaching other people how to use it and also about playing with new Play-Doh with my students. Dreaming of school is just a little too lame for me to be ok with it.

Apparently my mind is REALLY into the SMART Board. I also got Play-Doh for my room on Friday night, we have not had any in our room this year. I know exactly how much my kids love Play-Doh. Having regular Play-Doh sessions will make them very happy. Apparently my mind was thrilled about that, too.

I took Gabbie roller skating last weekend. It was fun, she had a lot more patience and stamina for it this time (last time she was only 4, now she's 6). However, she also had more guts and tried to skate faster, resulting in a lot more falls. Combine that with her insistence on wearing a dress and tights instead of jeans, and she probably had bruises all over her behind and thighs from falling down on her skate wheels.

By my school, there was a sign advertising "Germin Shepherd Pupys for Sale." I am thinking the only way they spelled Shepherd correctly was by looking it up. They must have thought they knew how to spell the other words. Nope. A few days later they changed the spelling of Germin to German, but puppies is still spelled pupys. I am waiting for the third edition.

I think there my be more to say, but dinner's ready. Later.

1.03.2009

Jax update

Well, Jax is definately sick.

He has the feline equivalent of shingles. Which means he is in a lot of pain, even if he is not acting like it and all of his nerve receptors are extremely sensitive. He got a cortosteroid shot today to help calm his nerve receptors and block pain. The vet said the effects of the shot should last at least a month, keeping him out of pain until the other treatment puts the shingles in remission.

After the shot takes effect, and he isn't in a lot of pain, he has to get a bath and comb out tomorrow to remove all the dander and stuff from his skin, so the lesions heal better.

The next day, after his skin oils have built back up, we have to put this oil treatment on his back to help knock out the shingles.

Just like in humans, shingles never go away, they just go into remission. Stress brings them back out. Meaning if we ever have a baby, move, get a dog, etc. he could flare back up. If that happens, we have to take him back and repeat the process.

The vet said that it probably was not his food that triggered the autoimmune response, but his kitty condo tower that he loved so very, very much. The carpet it is covered in is apparently treated with chemicals, and then when the cat scratches it, as it is meant for, those chemicals release and land all over the cat, in addition to being inhaled by the cat. Not good.

The vet says I can vaccuum and steam clean the tower and try it again, but no thanks. If it made him this sick, it can hit the dumpster. Its just not worth it.

In addition to all of that (like we need more!), he also is showing signs of feline type 2 diabetes. I had already bought him hypoallergenic food when all his problems started a month or so ago, but it is really expensive. The vet recommended some other options that are better priced (like 10.99 instead of 23.oo for 40 oz), but still better for him. Corn apparently is really bad for diabetic cats, since it converts to sugar quickly. He needs a grain free diet. No more Whiskas. I got him some of the new food, so we'll see how he likes it. He also cannot have any table scraps, which will break Donald's heart, since they love to share. The vet also said he should only be having 1/2 to 3/4 cup of food per day, not the 1.5 cups he has been getting.

Poor baby. This will be a rough change, between the bath, no table food, no kitty condo, switching foods again, and decreasing his food.

But to add insult to injury, he has to go back in 3-4 weeks for a rabies shot, too!