squirrels

I am the squirrel of the month. No, seriously. I was given the squirrel award at the faculty meeting Friday.

Squirrel awards are given to staff members who make fools of themselves.

A few weeks ago, my principal and I were the last two people in the building. Her hands were full, so she said, "Let's go out together and you can swipe us out." We walk to the swipe box, I swipe the card, the alarm activates and we walk out. When we were outside, however, she tested the doors and found them still unlocked. Needing to go back in for the hex-key to lock the push bars, she said, "You swipe us back in and I will get the hex-key." OK, simple enough. We enter, I swipe, she goes to the office door. The light is still blinking red. I swipe again, still red. I swipe again and it says "Zone 1 alarm, zone 1 alarm." I say, "It's not de-arming. Is it because you are already in the building?" Principal says, "No, that shouldn't matter. Swipe it again." I do, still red. She says, "Hand me your card." I do. She laughs, then says, "Amber, this is a Visa."

Yes, I was swiping in with a debit card. Apparently the school only takes MasterCard.

She calls school security and tells them there is no zone 1 alarm, just a special ed. teacher swiping in with her Visa instead of a prox card.

Later that night, as I reentered the building, the security staff gave me a hard time, then said I am probably not the first one to do it, I am just the first one to get caught doing it by my principal.

The bad thing is that I am in the building more than any other staff member after hours. Due to the guinea pigs, I go to school EVERY weekend, either on Saturday or Sunday, to check on them, feed them, etc. Also, with the one car issue and dropping the man off at OTC classes, if I have things to get done at school I usually just go back there instead of driving home. It's closer and I get something accomplished! So, in my hundreds of after hours visits to school, swiping in and out, I have NEVER screwed it up. I have never swiped the wrong card or activated an alarm. The one night I do, of course, my principal is standing there to see it.

So, I am now the proud recipient of a ceramic squirrel....until I hear of a new "squirrel" to pass it along to.

cutsie pies!

I made these tiny little pies shaped like butterflies and tulips. But my camera is at school!! I so want to show these to the world, but they will be eaten up soon by the monday night dinner crowd.

I put NO effort into dinner tonight, its just spaghetti, green beans and bread. I used all my time and effort on the pies. I think everyone will agree its worth it when they see an adorable pie flower on a scoop of ice cream.

do you have a deputie?

I saw a car this weekend that looked a lot like a police vehicle...but I figured it wasn't when I saw that the side said "Sherif."

I laughed.

to-do lists

I like to-do lists because marking things off as I go makes me feel accomplished...but I hate the current one on my desk. It is not getting shorter. I've added so many things as I go that I cannot keep up!

But, I have always had that same type of feeling before a year starts, then I finally get it done and find out I still missed some things that should have been on the list, yet the first day still comes off ok.

I am resting in that knowledge now.

Happy New Year!

Yes, it's that time of year! The August heat has finally gotten to the point where being outside is completely miserable unless you are in a cool body of water, car A/C's can't get cold for several minutes and everything you touch burns your skin.

Which means....school is starting soon! I am excited to be back in my routine, with my schedules and structure. I am ready to see my little darlings and all my teacher-friends.

I've been working in my classroom some this week, getting it ready. I've made trips to IPA, Mardel, Walgreens and Walmart getting the necessities (and a few frills!). I've got a class website half completed, where my students will be blogging about out community outings and cooking projects. I hope to finish it by the middle of next week.

Speaking of the class website...I am now the "Webmaster" for my school building. Our website has not been updated since 2005! It needs some major work. Since I took the technology boot camp class this summer, the head guy of the educational technology department decided I was the one who could do this work. I'm not sure I am entirely qualified...but luckily I married a man who is! Since beginning work in my room, I've already made 3 calls to the help desk, so they are probably scared to death that I've been choosen for this task. I'm not striving for awesome perfection (at least not yet), just something functional and decent to look at.

I've gotten 16 things marked off my to-do list...but 43 left to do, and I am sure I'll think of more before it's all said and done. Fortunately, a lot of them are "10-minute tasks."

That is all I really have to say. I just needed to share the excitement of the new year!

Davy's dirt

For Davy's birthday, I decided to buy him the gift I thought he'd like best. Dirt.

Yes, good old dirt. Here in the Ozarks, digging is hard. Dig an inch and you hit rock. No fun for a little boy who likes to dig in dirt.

Last year, I got to see Davy with access to a dirt pile for over a week. It was his Papa's dirt. Every day Davy would say, "Papa, is this your dirt? I love your dirt! Can I have your dirt?" His Papa always answered, "As much as you can carry."

When Davy was supposed to be napping, he would stand and stare out the window. If you asked what he was doing, he answered, "Watching my dirt."

He played everyday in that dirt, digging with spoons, making holes, making roads, driving toy tractors and bulldozers through it.

I warned Hillery, I would be buying him his own dirt for his birthday. And so, I did. 1400 pounds of dirt. When he saw me dumping it out, he said, "What are you doing with the more dirt?" I said, "It's Davy's dirt. It's for your birthday." He responded with a grin, saying "Davy LOVES dirt! I'm gonna get my tractor!" Dragging his excavator to his dirt, he immediately began playing. With each bag Hillery and I carried in we had to ask him to move so we could dump it on the pile.

Before anyone (else) asks, Hillery was cool with the dirt. People keep seeming shocked about this. They seem to think she should be mad that I gave Davy dirt. More laundry, more mess, all the mud! That's what people keep saying. I say it's a summer of outside activity. Boys will find dirt whether you give it to them or not. I just gave him some he could actually dig in.

My mom and most of the people around our age, including my husband who is still unconvinced that Hillery still likes me, think this is a very strange gift. Hillery's parents and my grandparents think it's genius. I think they remember from having little boys that dirt happens, and dirt covered little boys are happy boys.

So, without further ado, here are some pictures of Davy's dirt.
The dirt from Oklahoma did not have rocks, sand or twigs in it, but the dirt from Ohio had some rocks, a little sand and a couple twigs. The Oklahoma dirt was darker in color, too. What I learned from this is that Lowe's dirt is 1 cent more than Walmart's dirt, but well worth the extra penny. Here Davy is showing me the rocks he picked out of his dirt. Later, these were all being stored in the scoop part of his excavator.




A happy, dirty birthday boy.













Making good use of all his tractors, trucks, bulldozers, excavators, trowels and hand rakes. Just a boy and some dirt. In other words, pure contentment.

The days of Davy

Davy's birthday was 10 days ago. I am late blogging about it, because I had trouble with getting the pictures I wanted for the blog onto the computer. Davy turned 4. As Hillery said, it seems very big. He has completely left toddlerhood behind. He's a "big kid" n0w. I knew he had changed, but I did not know how much until I looked at this sequence of pictures:

This picture was taken in May of 2007. It is still one of my very favorite pictures of Davy, speaking volumes about his affectionate and caring nature.






This one was taken in May of 2008, on a visit to the train museum at Grant Beach Park. He already had lost some of the "babyishness" of the previous year.






This is his 3rd birthday last June. (Side note: How did his hair grow so much in just one month??)









And here he is on his 4th birthday. Crazy. He changed so much in that one year.











Happy Birthday, Little Boy. I can't wait to see how much you change in the next year. It seems like you've grown up so much, and so much faster than it went with Gabbie. I love the sweet nature you have. The hugs, and cuddles and concern for everyone around you. You are so intuitive about how people are feeling. That will serve you well as you grow up. We love you. Enjoy the dirt!

just one extra letter

There is a church on Glenstone with one of those "clever" signs out front. It reads, "Don't be discouraged. Moses was once in a basket case." Just that one extra word, the letter a, takes this saying from just being eye rollingly annoying to making no sense.

Nice.

summertime

It is summer now. Last year, I had several things to do right when school ended. I also had a long trip that happened unexpectedly.

This summer is feeling more "blank canvas-y" than last. Davy's birthday is next week. I will go home and see my family at some point, and go to Bella Vista to see Bryan.

Other than that, the summer seems wide open.

Truth be told...I don't really like that feeling as much as I used to.

sticky thinking

Today, standing in our classroom after school, I realized something. I live a very sticky life.

At that moment in time, my hands were sticky from holding the hand of a truly darling child who had been eating an apple. My pants leg was sticky from another student's juice spill. The crowning touch was the sticky goo in my hair, contributed by a child who hugged my head with pudding on her hand as I tied her shoe.

It was a very sticky day. On any given day, at some point, it is guaranteed that my hands will get sticky with one thing or another. (Only on a lucky day will only my hands be sticky. On a normal day...anything goes.)

I'm very lucky to live this sticky life. You see, the stickiest things in life are frequently also the sweetest. Toffee, caramel, jam... All sticky. My students...sticky, but sweet, for the most part.

I'm happy to have sticky hands, and pants, and even hair. For this stickiness is a sign of some seriously sweet blessings in my life.

It's summer as of 1:30 tomorrow. We all need the break. I'll be happy to have it, I know. But I will miss my sticky life in our classroom.

I will worry. Do they have enough to eat? Are they getting enough attention? Do the summer school teachers understand the words they use that mean something else? Is their home stable? Is their electricity on? Will they move over the summer without me knowing where, or saying good bye? Are they lonely?

I will pray. For protection. For stability. For someone to care. For provision. For retention of skills. For another chance to hold their sticky hands.

Day in and day out, these are my blessings. My sticky, sweet, ornery, stubborn blessings. I am used to being there for them. Letting go for the summer is very hard on my heart. Summer has its own blessings, its own share of sticky, but just as my students need the routines of our classroom, I know my life needs it, too. My heart is held tightly by all that sticky.

happy week!

This upcoming week, I have deemed "Happy Week" in my room. I told all my kids that it is the last three days of school (with 2 hour early release on wednesday!) and that we ARE going to all be happy, get along, stay out of time out, have fun and be friends. That this is the last time we get to see each other for 2 and a half months and since some of them are changing schools, we may not see each other for a long time (truthfully ever in some cases, but that may be too difficult for them to hear). So we want to leave with happy memories in our hearts.

Lets see if they go for it.

4-6-9-13??

My first year at my current school, I started with 4 students...yes, I quickly escalated to 6 and ended the year with 8...but originally, I got to settle in with 4. That was nice.

This year, I started with 6 (it was supposed to be 8, but two moved before school started). I am ending with 8 again.

Next year, I am projected to start with 9.

So, it was plus 2 for the second year, plus 3 for the third...if this pattern continues, will I start with 13 next year??

(See, i can do math when I need to!)

thinking

In lieu of blogging, I've been thinking. There has been a lot to think about in the past month of blog silence. I can't even explain all I've been thinking about, nor would I if I could.

Some things aren't for the internet. They are for my thoughts alone, or prayers to God, or quiet conversations with those who know me best and love me anyway. They aren't meant for 2 sentence comments. They are meant for emotional response.

Some things hurt to much to be put where they can be used as ammunition.

Some things mean to much, are too precious, are too special, to be shared with the world at large.

Some things are too shameful to want read by people who won't understand...or to be heard by anyone at all, sometimes.

Some things are too judgmental to feel fair...they are safer inside.

Some things can't be expressed in words...they are too abstract or complex for the keyboard to handle.

These things I've been thinking take too much time. That's why I've been absent. But I'll be back. With thoughts that can be blogged, expressed, shared and commented upon.

How 'bout some more randomosity?

Yes, I am still trying to get "randomosity" into the dictionary, thanks for asking!
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My new niece is here, Amelia Rae. 7 and a half pounds, and perfect. Healthy and everyone who has seen her says she is very cute. I can't wait to go home and see her. We had a bit of a scare with Jess, my brother's fiance, though. After the baby was born they could not get her to stop bleeding and had to do emergency surgery. They were afraid they would lose her. They managed to save her, but she cannot have any more kids...which is hard to take at 19 years old. We are all glad she's doing much better.
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My new favorite website is CakeWrecks.com. Laughs for hours, I promise. Try it.
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I made a pledge this month (well, not at the beginning of the month, but I made the pledge for one month)...for Earth Day. I did not do this because I love Earth Day, I am kind of indifferent to it. I did it because it was a suggestion for a writing prompt that my class was doing.

I pledged to give up disposable plastic water bottles (Pure Life, how I miss you...). For anyone who knows me, this is major. I drink a lot of water...and I like it cold. So tap water has always been difficult, since its not cold. I have tried keeping a pitcher in the fridge, but its hard to remember to keep it filled, plus its not portable. But, I have always felt a little guilty about the billions of pounds of plastic water bottles in landfills and floating in the ocean. So, I made it my pledge.

Now, I have bought many reusable water bottles...I've never liked them. There are many reasons why, depending on the bottle. I dislike stainless steel bottles because they tinge the water with a metallic taste, and feel horrible against my teeth. I dislike bottles with lids you have to screw off to drink from, the wide mouth usually results in spills and they are hard to drink out of when driving. I dislike pop up spouts because I tend to chew on them and ruin the bottle. I dislike loop top bottles because they are hard to manuever. I dislike bottlew with the flexi-straw that you can cover up and then expose, because if they are removable you lose them and if they aren't I think you can't really clean them. I hate bottles with rubber rings in the lids that fall out all the time, eventually getting lost and then the bottle leaks from under the lid rim onto your shirt.

This dislike of reusable bottles adds to the problem of not buying water.

However, for Donald's birthday, one of the things I got him was this new water bottle from WalMart's Earth Day line.

I got it for him in blue, not green (it also comes in clear). Occasionally, I drink out of it. I found that I really, really like it!

It's the perfect water bottle. I'm in love with it. I bought myself and my para each one, also. (I got blue but with a light blue top to distinguish it from Donald's bright blue top. Deloris's is clear with a bright blue top.) I liked it enough I went back and got 2 more (another blue with light blue lid and a clear with bright blue lid.) This is to meet my need for cold water. I can fill them at night, put them in the fridge and then take them to school and put them in the fridge there and have cold water all day. With only one, I ran out of cold water at 11 am and had to fill it with not cold water, chill it, then drink it. Pain in the butt. Also, I have a feeling that since these were "Earth Day" bottles that they are in limited quantity and I would hate to buy only one, lose it/forget it/break it and never be able to get another.

Here's my case for it being the perfect water bottle (which Deloris feels that it is too. She keeps saying, "I love my water bottle Thanks so much."):
It holds 32 oz, which is a good amount for taking with me somewhere, meaning I don't run out 15 minutes into drinking it, but its not like carrying around a pitcher. It's hard plastic, not the softer, bendier kind that absorbs smells. It has a rubber ring that cannot be removed, so it will never be lost. It has a curved middle, making holding it easier. It has a loop on the top (hard plastic, not flimsy like the loop top bottles, and its not holding the lid on, its part of the lid), which I have found makes it easy to carry with one finger when my hands are full. It comes in blue (yes, to me, this really really matters). But I think what makes it perfect for me is the straw/spout hybrid. There is a straw inside, not flexible but rigid, that is removable and a hard plastic spout on top you drink from. It lets you drink like a straw, rather than tipping the bottle, so no drips and spills, but it gets rid of all the issues I have had with straw bottles.

So, my pledge is very do-able now, because I have the perfect bottles.
(My only complaint is that they say "reduce reuse recycle" on them for earth day, but luckily its not written on, its part of the plastic, so its the same color and blends in well.)

So, if you are needing a water bottle, and have never found just the right one, this is my recommendation to you- GET ONE OF THESE! (If you hate it, you can always rehome it with me...) The walmart on independence is out of them, but the one on sunshine had a lot of them.
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Donald turned 30 last week, I did not blog about it because he did not want to be reminded of it.
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Donald started a new job last Monday, he has really enjoyed it and been very happy, which is a HUGE blessing. Also, it has given me a new enjoyable hobby...matching ties to dress shirts. I found that I really like to do this. It makes me happy inside. I like to hold 50 ties up to a shirt, weed out the noncontenders and then deciding on the best one. Yes, I am strange....but you knew that already.
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Less than 30 school days left. WOOHOO!

how many moods

Last night Donald asked if I was mad. I said no.

He asked if I was sad. I said no.

He asked if I was one of the 50 moods women have that men call mad or sad.

I laughed. A lot.

He explained that there are three moods. Happy, mad and sad. Everything else was made up by women.

So, how many moods do you think there are?

the state of life

The other night, Joel summed up (unintentionally) how I have been feeling about a lot of things in life. Here's how the conversation went:

He looked at our movie/video game shelves and said, "You should sort those and then alphabetize them so you could find them easier." (Now, I know a lot of people do this...but ask anyone who knows me and Donald well if they would consider the two of us the type to do it and the laughter would carry to the moon.)

I replied, "Go for it." He looked at me puzzled and I said, "I will probably never sort them and get them in ABC order. As close as I get it making sure all the Gilmore Girls seasons are on one shelf. But I would never stop anyone who WANTED to organize them from doing it."

He happily pulled all the cases from the shelf and began to sort them into piles of XBOX, Wii, PS2, and DVD. (Funny side note, the 3 VHS tapes are still on the floor. He could not figure out where to sort them to.) Each pile was then sorted into 2 piles (first half and second half of alphabet). Box sets were put together, and then the sorted and alphabetized groups of cases were shelved.

As he finished, I said (jokingly...but certainly would not have stopped him if he'd gone for it), "You can do the bookcase next, if you want."

He looked at the bookcase for a few seconds and then said, "I like to organize things...but I dislike things that cannot be straightened out...that's why I dislike that bookshelf." (Needless to say, he left without straightening out the bookcase.)

I laughed a lot at that statement of Joel disliking my bookcase...but it has become clear to me that it is a great way to express how I feel about some things.

I can't fix them, I can't straighten them out...and I dislike that.

I am not going to express the thing making me feel this way the most, not here on the internet, anyway. If you know me and I trust you, I would tell you if you asked...but I would be afraid of the repercussions of putting it here.

The other things are family illnesses, personal disappointment in myself and a general bitterness that I still struggle against with this stupid infertility.

I want a life more easily sorted, alphabetized and straightened.

prayers

Papa starts radiation next monday, he will have to go 5 days a week for at least 18 treatments. He is not going to do chemo unless the radiation fails.

My stepmom could also use prayer. She has so many ailments it is hard to list them here, but the biggest one is that her intestines are dying. They have removed so many parts that they said they can't do anything else, and that there will be no more surgeries because her insides are just scar tissue (apparently scar tissue inside is a sticky goo, not the type of scar tissue on the outside of the body, which I did not know). She is in a lot of pain, has not been able to eat solid food for about a year and yes, it will probably eventually kill her. Its really hard for her and my dad to live that way.

He has a way with words...

God does not speak in literal words to me often. Sometimes I really wish He would. But He mainly nudges my heart and spirit and seems to gently guide me. But, when He does speak in words, He certainly knows how to get my attention!

Yesterday, I was asked/invited to do a service ministry that evening. I got the invite via text and thought, "ugh...it's raining and cold and supposed to snow later and I have work to do for school. I don't really feel like it." I read the text to Donald and he said he was not super excited to go, either. I picked up my phone to text back that we couldn't go. (Couldn't is a stretch here, as we COULD...but did not want to. I was justifing "couldn't" by saying I HAD to do school stuff, even knowing that I could do it today instead.) Just as I unlocked the phone to type, God spoke. Clearly, concisely and in words.

He said, "Jonah did not WANT to go to Ninevah, either."

This got my attention. I told Donald I was going to go anyway. He said he'd come, too.

Now, I know that statement could have many meanings (sadness, threatening, instructing, etc.), but I did not stop and ask for interpretation. I just figured if it was serve or be swallowed by a whale and THEN serve (because Jonah did not get out of doing what he was asked, he just was delayed by disobedience and a whale)...then I'm gonna go with serve.

Plus...I've been asking God for a lot lately (patience, job for Donald, healing for Papa), so it would seem that to ask and never give is certainly wrong.

There are a lot of reasons I should have said yes without God having to tell me to (for starters, because it was the right thing to do). I did not. That makes me disappointed in myself. I wish I had wholeheartedly said yes right away without the prompt. (Although the rare occasion of hearing God's voice is nice.) I am glad I went and I really hope that next time, I won't have to hear Him tell me to.

I am also glad I went, because it saved God the trouble of getting a whale into a landlocked state and in position to swallow me.

Papa update again

Papa's face swelled up last Tuesday. He went to the doctor and the doctor pulled out fluid with a needle. He said it was either infection at the operation site or the lymphoma was back.

Today (Thursday), the doctor told him it is the lymphoma. It is back much sooner than anyone ever thought it would be. Only a couple weeks after the all clear, remission declaration.

He has to go back this week and get some immune system tests run and then start radiation.

Pray for Papa again. He cleared the lymphoma once, I have faith he can do it again!

Dreaming

Why does dreaming come in spurts? I won't dream for months, then suddenly, 15 dreams a night for a week. How does that work?

Also, when you do dream, why do you wake up feeling completely exhausted? Is you body actually awake and performing these dreams in an alternate world?

Why are my dreams either insane or mundane, but no in between?

Why have I never, ever had the most common dreams of flying and falling?